MILF: A Derogatory Term or a Compliment?

MILF: a term for an attractive mature woman. Pronounced in full, “Mommy, I want to fuck,” does not necessarily sound less sexist. Therefore, a woman would rather not be called that. Or maybe she would? Looking for clues as to why this supposed “compliment” might not be so demeaning, and what MILFs can take away from it.

First encounter with the word

First of all, I am actually very open to honest and endearing compliments. Regardless of whether it concerns my personality or appearance. I’ve been “not looking for a partner” for what feels like 100 years and being the mother of a toddler. However, I would be lying if I said that I only enjoy compliments from my own husband. When compliments come from women, then you can truly say that “women supporting women” is not just an empty hashtag.

What does MILF mean?

The first time I was called a MILF was by an acquaintance at a club. When I asked if it was a compliment, she said yes. I politely thanked her, but the strange feeling remained. The second time, I was walking with my son on a popular shopping street when a group of teenagers passing by almost “spat” the word at me. I didn’t like it, especially since my son asked what it meant. As the “mom of the year,” I shrugged it off and was still very happy that he didn’t adopt the term into his vocabulary and take it to kindergarten.

MILF: Where did this term actually come from?

The term MILF originated from American slang in 1990. Originally used in the porn industry, the term reached cult status in 1999 with the American teen comedy American Pie, becoming part of youth slang. As Ms. Stifler, Jennifer Coolidge became, arguably, the “top MILF” of an entire generation around the world, and she may never lose that status.

But why do I (and probably most moms) find the term MILF so obscene and demeaning? First and foremost, because it’s demeaning. You’re degraded to being just a sex object, and I’m more than that, please. I also don’t want to be demeaned to be a “mom”; despite having wonderful children, I still am and always will be a woman. And that’s how I want to be seen, in all its aspects.

Sexy “despite” family and kids

Porn platforms show that taboo topics top the most searched terms – including “MILF.” Keywords like older MILF Porn, Beauty MILF, MILF Ass, and the like are getting more popular by the day. To take the positive side of all this: It shows that there’s less of an obsession with youth in this industry and that it’s not just “young, fit” bodies that are in demand.

Although I still wonder if “classic” porn MILFs look like “classic” playground moms. MILF also refers to women between the ages of 40 and 50 who are sexually active and self-conscious that they remain sexy despite their “aging bodies.”

MILF: Why so negative?

At first glance, as a MILF, you appear to be portrayed as a mere sex object. However, let’s look at what a MILF looks like: very attractive, well-groomed, and fit. That’s of course very superficial, but a MILF is also – as already mentioned – confident and has charisma and an appropriate attitude towards herself and her surroundings. What’s wrong with continuing to take care of yourself as a mom and taking care of yourself and your body?

Nothing. And the same goes for dear old dads. Among the daily family chaos and work stress, taking care of yourself and remaining attractive to your partner and, most importantly, to yourself is a good and healthy thing. Sexual attraction will not fade after years of marriage or relationship, and/or the flame of romance is rekindled. And if mom and dad are happy, so are the kids.